#SquadGoals- quality time with quality people

“Hashtag squad goals!” “Hashtag tribe!” How many times have we heard this shouted, after taking a group picture, that is going to be posted, on 5 different instagram accounts by the 5 people in that group picture? But what makes your tribe or squad so “goal” worthy.  When I was in college and fresh out of college, I said yes to every invite. It didn’t matter who invited me, where we were going, or what we were doing. I was in. I suffered from a bad case of “FOMO” (Fear of missing out). I didn’t want to miss out on something amazing that was sure to happen. Rarely did something amazing happen, and I lost a lot of sleep and gained a lot of weight. I became stationary in my life. As I have gotten older, I have learned the importance of quality over quantity in relation to time and people. I have recently dared myself to embrace the risk of FOMO and say “no” more often to invites that involve any place, any time, any one. Rather, I say “yes” to quality time with quality people.  So what is quality time and what makes someone a quality person?

Quality Time.  Quality time is the time I spend making myself into a better person. I make myself a better person in two places. One, my time in the gym, I am taking time to improve mentally and physically. My workouts are when I am my own coach, these are the times that I tell myself  “Do better. Be better.”  Two, my time alone, in my apartment. This is time that I take to reflect, read, and recover. I write and reflect on my week, and I set intentions for the coming week. It’s my time to develop my character into someone who pursues excellence. All my other time alone time is “convenient time,” (watching “The Office” on Netflix for the 100th time in a row.) So if I give up my quality time, it better be for a quality person.

Quality people. Unfortunately, for me to have found quality people, I had to spend some time with non-quality individuals.  After hanging out with certain friends, I found  myself drained, burned-out, and stressed. I had to ask myself, “what about this individual makes me feel this way?” In that time, I discovered the traits I don’t want to be around. Some of these individuals I would call convenient people; they don’t really add anything to my life. They say the 5 people you spend the most time with is who you become. Ultimately who do I want to be? When people think “Becca Gussiaas” what comes to their mind? I hope they think of 5 things.

1. Authentic. I want to be around real people. I don’t want to be around  people who change who they are based on who they are with. I want people to be real with me and not pretend to be someone they think I want them to be.
2. Goal Oriented. I want to be around hard working individuals who are bettering themselves and the world around them. People who are willing to give up the immediate gratification for the long term reward.
3. Smart. I want to be around people who make me think. No, I won’t test your IQ. After spending time with someone, I want to have learned something about them, myself, or the world. I want to be around people who are so passionate about a certain topic, that they spend time researching, asking, and developing in that area. When I see them, they just HAVE to share what they have learned.
4. Kind. I want to be around others who make everybody feel like a somebody. I want to be around people who see others’ needs and offer a helping hand. People who are willing to give their time and talents to serve others.
5. Humble. I want to be around people who will do “the right thing” because it makes the world a better place, regardless; if they will get applause or recognition from the rest of the world. These are the individuals who will work hard to better themselves and the world without developing an ego.

These are the 5 traits that I want to be around, because; these are the 5 traits I want to possess.  When I am spending my quality time with others, I ask myself “Am I growing in these qualities?” To answer this question, I have simple equations

Quality time + Quality people = Growth
Convenient time + Quality people = Growth
Convenient time + Convenient people = Stationary
Quality time + Convenient people= Loss

So. I hope this rambling made some sense, and sorry for the grammatical errors. (I tried to decipher my late night journaling.) But I want to challenge you, or “dare you,”  to embrace FOMO. Increase your time spent with quality people, and reduce your time with the convenient people. Here’s a three-step process to help you start:

1. Ask yourself, what 5 characteristic traits  do you want to be known for?
2. Identify how you are developing your 5 qualities in your quality time.
3. Find quality people that will help you develop your 5 characteristic traits.

Thank you to all of those who have been quality people in my life and have developed  real life #squadgoals. You know who you are.

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