Before I get too deep into this month’s post. I wanted to give an update on last month’s post. Things have been going better, I would say 2-3 days a week can be rough. But overall much better! I have been forcing myself to participate in life and staying mindful of the thoughts that have been going in and out of my mind.
So last month, my post was pretty real and raw. And I was nervous posting something like that. There is always the “what will they say about me thoughts.” Will people think I’m just trying to get attention or I’m a millennial snow flake, and I should suck it up butter cup. Overall the reactions were positive, a few people reached out and shared their own experiences, and I was able to connect with people on a deeper level. Which was really cool! But it kind of got me thinking about what my next blog post was going to be.
The book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” (I highly recommend everyone read it) one of the first habits that they dive into is the importance of living by core values. One of my firsts posts, that you should all take time to go read, “Quality time with Quality people.” (shameless self-promotion.) I talked about the qualities that I value in others and try to emulate in myself. I realize that those qualities reflect my core values: authentic, hard-working, humble. Those are my top three. So I am going to do a little “blog series” the next few posts diving deeper into my core values and how they shape my day-to-day life. I also challenge you to sit, reflect, and identify your core values.
Authenticity. My last post really seemed to spark open and honest discussions with friends and acquaintances. For an introvert it was a lot to take on some of the talks/texts/e-mails that I got from others. It honestly made me think: why are so many people telling me their deep dark truths. Well, to be frank. People appreciate authenticity. People want honesty. There is so much “fake” in everyone’s world today. Look at instagram for example, myself included. Instagram influencers and models have often posted about how their “candid” pictures are often full-on photo shoots that take several hours with a crew of lighting technicians and a full hair and make-up crew. And how many of us are guilty of scrolling through all of the filters on instagram only to narrow it down to two and then 10/10 times choose “Ludwig.” (Heaven forbid, if I go missing, they won’t be able to find a picture from my instagram that actually looks like me to use on the missing person poster.) Even my post workout boomerangs have been taken several times, gotta make sure that nasty hair and sweat look like I worked really hard. That is just social media, which if we are honest consumes a lot of everyone’s day.
Outside of social media there is a lack of authenticity. How often do we say one thing to a co-workers face only to say something completely different to another? How often does your trainer tell you that you are doing a good job, when in reality you need to keep your chest up during your squat? How often do you agree with a date that “The Big Lebowski” is, in fact, the best movie ever, when you’ve never heard of it? How often do you meet someone, forget their name, only to see them a week later and have a full conversation not remembering their name, and resort to calling the “buddy.”
Authenticity. Truth. Genuine. Honesty. Real. Spin it anyway that you want it. I want to be authentic. If I want something or need something from someone I ask. If someone upsets me, I tell them directly, instead of lying and saying everything is fine, only to tell a different story to others. I want others to be authentic with me. I don’t want to be around others who change who they are or what they believe when they are around me. I also need to be authentic with myself. As I go through my day, am I REALLY doing everything I can to be who I want to be. Am I putting “my money where my mouth is” or am I just saying I am to make myself feel better.
So, the big thing with core values, is that they determine your day-to-day decisions. How do I use authenticity everyday? Some examples:
A group of friends invite me somewhere to do something. And I honestly would rather just be at home with my cat. All I say is “no thanks.” I don’t lie or give an exuse. I am just honest.
I am done with work, and I am sort of tired, but I know I need to get a workout in. Instead of say “oh well, I can take a rest day.” Look a little deeper, and realize, I just want to be home at 4pm so I can watch Netflix.
Someone upsets me. They say or do something that really “gets my goat.” I tell them.
I can’t find what I need in the store and the cashier asks “did you find everything.” I tell them no I didn’t. They are usually shocked that someone changed the “script” of grocery shopping: get in and get out with minimal interaction.
Eating a meal, and I am tracking my macros, and I don’t want to count the olive oil that I have on my vegetables, so that I can have a piece of cheese. That’s not being authentic, and that’s not going to shape me into the honest person that I am striving to be.
Authenticity: Who I am in private is the same of who I am in public. It’s a foundation. I don’t want to only put out the “good” parts of life but the “real” parts of life. And I will try use more then just one instagram filter.
What I actually look like all the time. This is the photo we use when I go missing.
Because She Dared 