“When the notion of ourselves and the world grows so inflated that it begins to distort the reality that surrounds us…..Ego is at the root of every problem and obstacle.” Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy
Ego. We all have it. That need to “be better than the rest.” We compare our behaviors to others and tell ourselves, “well what she is doing is so much worse than what I am doing.” We compare our achievements and tell ourselves, “I’d be that successful too if my parents paid for everything.” Ego and pride prevent us from asking the real questions, “Is being with this group of friends, really going to get me where I want to be in 5 years?” “Am I really putting all the work in to be better and be successful?” Ego and pride have a way of making us avoid those gut-retching questions. Ego and pride hate truth. Ego hates authenticity.
Being humble means that you are willing to learn. You are willing to be a student. You’re willing to ask “stupid questions.” Willingness to change and be uncomfortable, because it means growth and improvement, that’s being humble. I quit a job where I was comfortable. I finally figured out how it all “worked.” I used a lot of big words everyday, like “intracerebral hemorrhage in the frontal lobe.” Only to have to start over, in a completely new system. I had to ask a lot of stupid questions, and I’m sure many of my new co-workers questioned my abilities. If I let their opinion of me consume me, I would not have grown as an SLP. If I had worried about what past co-workers thought of me, I would not have challenged myself. I had to be a beginner. Nobody likes being a beginner. I once had a professor who said, “When I stop getting nervous every time I get a new client, that’s when I hang it up…..I am never done learning. I am always a student.”
Being humble is the hard choice. It’s hard to do pause squats at 95 pounds, and just focus on speed out of the hole, instead of going full send and loading the bar with 250.
Being humble takes patience. It takes patience when you just worked a long day, only to have to go to the grocery store at peak shopping hour; all the lines are full, and the cashier just isn’t moving fast enough.
Being humble takes self-restraint. When the project that you are in charge of at work is a big flop; instead of giving endless excuses, you take responsibility.
It’s hard, especially in the social media world that is 2019. Everyone wants recognition for what they do. And there is an endless supply of “self-made” celebrities on social media, who are getting that recognition. We see rappers, actors, musicians, and athletes, who are making a lot of money, based on their ego. Their personality, their ego-mania, seems to make them so hated, yet so popular. We all only post the best version. Even the humble “failed lift” or “#realmom posts, have an element of “look at me, look at how humble I am.” (I say that, because I’ve posted a few failed lifts, just to show people how humble I am.) We post the PRs, the new jobs, the pile of self-improvement books, the Christmas card family photo. And I’m not saying don’t post those things. BE PROUD. It’s a fine line to walk, between being proud of yourself and being prideful. But ask yourself: if no one knew you hit a PR, volunteered at a certain place, worked to getting a graduate degree, got a new job: would you still be proud? Are you willing to continue to learn and grow? Are you wanting to do more? Are you willing to be a beginner? Or are you just looking for an instagram snack to feed your ego?
It’s a tough pill to swallow. These are not fun questions to type up, and they are not fun questions to ask yourself.
I mean, I realize the massive irony in this post, me talking about being humble, seems pretty bragg-y. However, the coolest thing about being humble, is that it’s a never ending learning process. There are endless opportunities to practice being humble. And there is nothing like posting about how humble you are, to make you realize you still have a LONG way to go towards being humble.
Because She Dared 