FOMO to Freedom: 31 Days of no Social Media

8 A.M. on January 1, 2020. I deleted all social media from my phone and iPad. I had intended to do a simple social media fast for the first month of the New Year. Towards the end of day one, I got bored and needed to fill my day. I decided to track data and do a little project on myself. And since one of my New Year Resolutions was to write more, this project is my first blog of 2020. (And the irony of promoting a post about no social media on social media is not lost on me.)

Why did I do this? Well I had a rough end of the year mentally, and social media didn’t help a lot of the feelings I had regarding the: “not being good enough.” “I’m a fraud.” “I am not being the best version of myself.” “I am not where I should be in life.” “I’m the worst” “I’m a failure.” You know, just regular everyday thoughts.

This summer I did a social media fast for one week. I definitely noticed an improvement in my overall mood. So I figured it takes 30 days to establish a habit, why not give up social media for 31 days, this time around, and see what impact this habit has on me.

The Research

It is not new news that social media has negative impacts on individuals. In the past 10-15 years there have been multiple stories of teens and young adults committing suicide after experiencing cyberbullying. Facebook Depression is a phrase that was used in a report by the American Academy of Pediatrics used to describe “young users see[ing] updates, wall posts, and photos that make them feel unpopular. “ They also stated that, “Social media sites may have greater psychological impact on kids with low self-esteem or who are already otherwise troubled.”

Lin, et al… (2017) Surveyed 1,787 adults ages 19-32 regarding amount of time spent on social media and compared it to depression ratings. They found that individuals who spend more time on social media had “significantly increased odds of depression” (para 3). Elina Mir and Caroline Novas at the National Center for Health and Research cited that “Teens who spend 5 or more hours a day online were 71% more likely to have at least one risk factor for suicide compared to teens who spent only 1 hour a day online.” They Also cite that “[teens] who visited any platforms at least 58 times per week were three times more likely to feel socially isolated compared to those who used social media fewer than 9 times per week.” And that “greater instagram use was associated with greater self-objection and concern about body image.”

It’s also not new news that we are addicted to our phones and the Internet. According to a Digital Trends article, Americans average “4.7 hours” of their day on their phone, with an average of “one time per waking hour checking social media sites.” A July 2019 article from Pew Research Center found that, “86% of Americans who “occasionally” use the Internet will use a “smartphone, tablet, or other mobile device,” with 32% of those saying they are “online almost constantly.

I may not be a teen anymore, but I am still addicted to my phone and social media. I can say with certainty that I experience negative thoughts when checking social media. I am guilty of following people that annoy me, just to see how much that person annoys me. Talk about putting yourself in a MOOD. I guess I figured, why not. Let’s track the amount of time spent with a screen in my face and my overall mood when I don’t engage in social media.

The Questions:

How many times do I pick up my phone per day when I don’t have social media vs when I do have social media? Will I “habitually” pick up my phone? Will the number of times I pick up my phone decrease as the month progresses?

As previously stated in the research, there are some serious negative effects of social media on mental and emotional health. For me, there was fear in deleting social media. It’s the fear of missing out (FOMO). How would my FOMO compare at the beginning, middle, and end of the month?

The Process

 I did not “announce” on social media that I would be leaving. If people ask “did you get that meme I sent you.” “did you get my snap” “did you see that thing on facebook” etc.…. I would tell them that I am off of social media for the month of January. I did not initiate any conversations regarding doing a social media fast. This going off the gird “silently” made me very anxious. What if someone wants to contact me? What if something happens, and I want to post it? What if my friend gets engaged? What if there is a new funny meme and I don’t see it? What if my family is having a get together and only invite via Facebook? The “what ifs” were endless.

In the end, I figured, if someone wants to contact me, they can call or text me. If there is a family or friend gathering, I will probably get a text about. For book club, which pretty much communicates through Facebook, I can ask via text what book we are reading this month and when and where we are meeting.

I went into my phone and wrote down all of my screen time information for the previous week, December 23-28. This included, total weekly screen time, total phone pick-ups in the week, and total phone pick ups per day. All of the information was copied directly from the screen time tracker on my iPhone.

I made two calendars (attached at the bottom.) One calendar would track how many phone pick-ups I had per day, based on the screen time tracker on my iPhone. I also noted total screen time per week for full weeks.

The second calendar was a FOMO scale to give a quantitative data for FOMO. The FOMO scale was a daily ranking 1-5 based on how much I wished I had social media according to my “FOMO thoughts.” 1 being not caring at all, 5 being “I need to know!”

• FOMO thought:

1. What if someone is trying to contact me through (social media platform) and I’m missing out?!
2. I want to post this on (social media platform), so that they don’t miss out on my life!

I know that this was not a perfect and completely objective way to track FOMO, but I was very honest with my FOMO thoughts and myself.

Results:

 The week of December 25-28, prior to my social media fast, on average I picked up my phone 89 times per day. My weekly total of screen time was 25 hours per week, with 10 hours per week spent on social media.

For the month of January, where I had no social media, on average, I picked up my phone, 71.8 times per day. Total weekly time spent on my phone was 13 hours and 36 minutes. On average, I picked up my phone 18 times less per day. Total screen time was 12 hours less than the December weekly average it reduced by 52%.

My phone pick-ups stayed around the same throughout the whole month. There was no significant difference between the first week, middle weeks, and the last week of the month. The least that I picked up my phone was on January 26, with 20 pick-ups, and the most I picked up my phone was January 24, with 111 pick-ups. (Which is also the day I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere in the middle of dark time)

The first day of no social media, I would pick up my phone out of habit. I would walk by my phone and pick it up, only to remember that I didn’t have anything to “click on.” And then I would put my phone down, walk past it two minutes later and do the same thing, repeated all day. Sometimes, when I realized that I didn’t have something to scroll through, I would just open my photos or emails just to have the satisfaction of “scrolling.”

Regarding FOMO thoughts, my average FOMO rating was 2.2. My highest day was January 1^st, at a level 5. The most common ranking that I gave myself was a 2 with ten total days at a 2. Level 3 and 1 both occurred eight times during the month. January 1^st-4^th were my highest ranked days from 3-5. After which, I started ranking more 1-3 in the middle of the month. January 30^th-31^st were both ranked at 4.

 Discussion

I have a definite addiction to my phone. Not just social media, but to the actual phone itself. There wasn’t a significant change in the amount of times I picked up my phone. However, there was a significant difference in the total amount of time spent on my phone. I still wanted to pick up my phone and feel it in my hand. I wanted to watch the screen light up. I wanted to scroll. Even with a social media fast, my phone was always right next to me.

Overall, I got used to not being on social media, but I still found at least a part of myself wanting to be on social media. I felt significant FOMO at the beginning of the month, a few days in the middle, and then towards the end of the month. As I was getting toward the end of the month, I found myself excited to get back to social media and anticipating getting to “catch up.”

There were definite pros to fasting social media. Since I wasn’t staring at my phone, I had about 12 extra hours per week. 12 HOURS. TWELVE. I can no longer say I don’t have time for something, because I know how to magically make 12 extra hours per week. So how did I spend my time?

I was more productive at work, if I checked my phone it was for 5 minutes at a time to see emails or texts, instead of sitting and scrolling for 20 minutes at a time. Considering I had more time in my week, I found myself being really intentional about what I was consuming, overall. I watched less TV and fewer movies. I read more. In fact, I read 5 books this month. Where it usually takes me 4 months to read one book or I maybe read 1 book a month (for book club.)

I got better sleep, instead of spending the evening scrolling through reddit or pinterest. I would come home and either watch an episode of something or listen to a podcast. At the same time each night, I would turn off my evening entertainment and go to bed and read. Instead of lying in bed scrolling mindlessly for hours, I would fall asleep reading. I typically slept through the night. When I woke up, I felt rested.

I suddenly had more time in the morning when I was getting ready for work. Suddenly 30-40 minutes per morning was PLENTY of time to get ready. Even had time to do some reading and writing. I was able to get random chores done before work like dishes or meal prep 1-2 meals. Overall, I spent my time wiser and with more purpose.

Mentally and emotionally, I felt better. Essentially I spent an entire month not comparing myself to random strangers or friends on the Internet. I wasn’t in the “know” on useless drama and gossip. I didn’t know who posted what. I didn’t have “They’re posting AGAIN!” or “Why would you post that” thoughts or general eye-rolls when certain people show up on my feed. Overall I would say I was more content this month. I was content with just being myself, staying in my lane, and doing my own thing without anyone knowing.

There were SOME cons to fasting social media. I was very behind on the news. I didn’t know that Kobe Bryant died until like 2 days later. And of course, that’s on me for not picking up the newspaper. However, not “knowing” the news or gossip did NOT have a negative impact on me. I just didn’t know. And I didn’t care. Knowing or not knowing had no effect on me.

I also felt like I missed out (FOMO) with friends’ birthdays or new baby pictures or their cat pictures. But you know what, I found that if I was missing out on a friend’s life, I would give them a call or a text. Just a fun fact, Facebook noticed I hadn’t signed in and would email everyday about “see what your friend so-and-so just posted.”

I dare you.

The name of the blog is because she dared. I dared to delete social media and “be in the dark” for 31 days. Yeah, I’m excited and ready to scroll through all of the missed posts and memes this weekend. But through this experienced I learned that I don’t NEED to be in the know with every little thing, I don’t NEED to be constantly “connected.” I survived, in fact; I thrived not being on social media.

Not being in the know was an advantage to me; I didn’t feel annoyed or angry at someone’s post, because I didn’t know they posted it. It didn’t exist to me. I sought out the news that was important to me. I sought out the news from friends personally. I felt that I was able to better connect with friends. When I did call or text my friends, I really did not know what was going on in their lives, so we had great connection and conversations. There was freedom in not having to feel like I need to post something. There was freedom in not constantly seeing if someone saw my post or liked my pictures. There was freedom in not having to edit pictures and find the perfect caption of some moment; only to know that what I posted isn’t even the “real me.” I didn’t feel like I needed validation from anyone online OR in real life.

I dare you. I dare you to limit your social media input. Delete it for an extended amount of time. Delete certain apps from your phone, so that you have to get up and go to the computer to sign in. Put a time limit on certain apps. Set a rule: No Social Media Sundays, or no social media before or after a certain time. See how your mood changes, notice that you have LOTS of time in a day.

Free yourself from social media. Free yourself from FOMO. Be free from constant blinking. Be free from endless negative inputs. Find the freedom to connect with others. Find the freedom to be content with who you are. You are free to be wholly and unapologetically you.

Resources

1. Liu, L., Sidani, J., Shensa, A., Radovic., Miller, E., Colditz, j., Hoffman, B., Primack, B., (2017). Association between Social Media Use and Depression among U.S. Young Adults. Retrieved from ncbi.nlm.nih.gov.
2. Mir, E., Novas, (2020). C. Social Media and Adolescents’ and Young Adults’ Mental Health. Retrieved from http://center4research.org.
3. Chang, L. (2015). Americans spend an alarming amount of time checking social media on their phones. Retrieved from digitaltrends.com.
4. Perrin, A. (2019). About three-in0ten U.S. adults say they are ‘almost constantly’ online. Retrieved from pewresearch.org.
5. J. (2019). Is “Facebook Depression” For Real? Retrieved from socialworktoday.com

 Appendixes

Total Pick-ups per day 

			1st	79	2nd	64	3rd	54	4th	33
5th	24	6th	83	7th	66	8th	89	9th	48	10th	90	11th	60
12th	65	13th	67	14th	75	15th	82	16th	83	17th	77	18th	68
19th	74	20th	95	21st	88	22nd	86	23rd	81	24th	111	25th	93
26th	20	27th	98	28th	68	29th	61	30th	68	31st	71

 

FOMO Scale

			1st	5	2nd	4	3rd	3	4th	3
5th	2	6th	2	7th	2	8th	1	9th	3	10th	1	11th	1
12th	1	13th	1	14th	3	15th	3	16th	3	17th	2	18th	4
19th	1	20th	2	21st	3	22nd	3	23rd	2	24th	2	25th	1
26th	2	27th	1	28th	2	29th	2	30th	4	31st	4

 

Total Weekly Screen Time

Jan 5-11	10hrs 38min
Jan 12-18	13hrs 32min
Jan 19-25	12hrs 53 min
Jan 26-Jan 31	11hrs 3min