Burn out. It happens to everyone in various aspects of life, school, fitness, family, career, hobbies, volunteering, you name it. We have all been there. What is the best way to deal with burn out? What are some ways to avoid burn out? So I figure the best way to tackle this is to share my experience with burnout in various aspects of my life.
December 2017-Febuary 2018. Here is what a “typical” day looked life for me: Wake up at 4:30. Be at the gym at 5 am to coach until 7am. Be at work by 8:00. Work until 4:30. Go back to the gym to coach one or two classes. Do my workout (I was training for a power lifting competition). Home at 7pm, eat, shower, get ready for tomorrow, in bed at 8pm. Now, there were some days where I had to go to another job between going to the gym and going to work. And there were some days when I got to sleep in until a regular time. I definitely got burnout doing this. I was in denial of my burnout. But I learned a big lesson from this.
If you experience burnout, in any aspect of life, YOU ARE NOT A BAD OR A WEAK PERSON. For some reason, we like to associate the amount of work with being a “good” or “hard” worker. If I work 60-70 hours a week, I must be a hard worker. (Or maybe your just an inefficient worker.) One of my “favorite” things is the “one-downing” that we like to do in our conversations. It’s like “one-upping” but opposite. For example:
Person 1: “Oh man I am so tired, last night, I had to work late, so I didn’t get to bed until 11, and I needed to be up at 5 this morning to go to the gym. And now my boss wants me to get this project finished by tomorrow, and I thought I had until next week.”
Person 2: “You’re telling me. I mean, I had to work late too, but my husband wasn’t able to get my kids to and from basketball, so I had to leave work and come back. I didn’t get to bed until 11:30. I woke up at 5 to get to the gym, but I did two workouts. And my boss wants me to completely redo my project, and have it done by this afternoon.”
Or one of my other favorites comments, “You shouldn’t be tired/stressed/nervous, because I had to do XYZ.”
First off, lets remove guilt from burnout. Stop feeling guilty yourself for taking a break. Remove your ego from your commitments. If you are feeling burnt out, and you are about to say yes to another night out or another commitment, ask yourself. Am I doing this, because I don’t want people to think of me as _____(fill in the blank:lazy, incompetent, selfish, etc…)_____. Are you really the only person who can do that task? Are your friends not going to have a fun time if you don’t join them for a night out? Now, there are things in life that we absolutely need to do that we don’t want to do. Sometimes things happen and we are unable to take those needed breaks. That is part of life. But if you are already at your limits, and you won’t be able to provide QUALITY to what is asked of you, is it really worth the burn out?
One of the worst things that someone can say about me is that I am lazy, so I find that I will always say yes when people ask me to cover for them at work or take on a project. This is when I run myself into the ground. Essentially I have this mindset: what others think of me (my ego) is more important than my health. I have been doing a lot of “ego checking” and trying to improve on this way of thinking. Life is not about “getting that bread fam” (and other stupid things people my age say.)
Next, stop making others feel guilty for feeling burnout when you feel “they don’t have a reason to feel that way.” Everyone has their own limits. Some people can work 60 hours a week and volunteer and socialize and do their hobbies. Others can work 40 hours a week, take care of their family, and have time for their hobbies. Others can work 24 hours a week and volunteer. If someone is doing what they love and, they are content with their life, what does it matter to you how much they work, volunteer, if they have a family to take care of, or if they have the same health problem you have. Let people live their lives. And turn it back on you, when others are complaining, are you one-downing them? Or saying “it could always be worse” A better option, for ALL of us to practice, is to find the positive. There is always a positive. Turn your have to’s into get to’s, find things to appreciate everyday. I get to go to work today! I get to volunteer! I get to pick my kids up from basketball! Just that one little mindset change can make a difference.
Last, some things that I do personally to avoid burnout.
1.One day a week, I come home immediately after work. There is no going to the gym, there are no errands to run. I go straight home. I also have set days that are rest days from working out. The life that I was living earlier this year, was not sustainable. I gave myself no time to relax, and I ended up with an injury and all sorts of issues, mentally and physically.
2. Routines. I have a morning routine and a nighttime routine. Routines help me with getting ready and setting intention for my day as well as settling my mind at night. When I keep certain parts of my day the same, it keeps me mentally clear. Even if everything breaks down during the day, and I don’t get done everything I needed to; I can say “well at least I made my bed this morning.”
3. Separate things in your life. Work doesn’t come home with me, mentally or physically, what happened today at work happened. I can’t go back and change it, so it doesn’t make sense to let it fester. Leave it and start over tomorrow. Thinking about all of the things I have to do when I get home from work won’t get those tasks done. So thinking about them, just wastes my energy and makes my work lower in quality.
4. Spice it up. Now I am a very regimented and routine person. But I find that changing things up every once in a while re-energizes me. Sometimes, I need to have a spontaneous night out or movie night with friends. Something I hear a lot from people is that they stop working out because they are burnt out or bored of their routine. Well then SPICE IT UP! Change it up, try and learn something new, give yourself a new fitness goal to work on.
5. Take a break. YOU NEED TO TAKE A BREAK. From whatever in life: family, friends, fitness, job. Take a break. And don’t feel guilty (please see above) about it. A break doesn’t have to be some big grandiose vacation. Maybe it’s going to the grocery store by yourself, no kids to try and sneak stuff into the car. Maybe it’s taking a nap instead of doing the dishes. In fitness, maybe it’s taking a whole week off from working out or taking a de-load week. Remember: the hours you spend “working” doesn’t define your value.
6. Evaluate and measure your goals. I have certain 3 year and 5 year goals for my life. I also have core values that I live my life by. When things are getting overwhelming in life, and I have to make decisions about adding, cutting, or changing things, I rely on those core values and ask: Does what I am doing match my core values?
To end this, I dare you: Evaluate your why. Why are you doing what you are doing? Is it because it is fulfilling and it brings you joy in life? Or is it so others think of you as a a hardworking and giving person?
Because She Dared 
Um, I love this. As if you were not already my spirit animal! You are a bad ass woman and thank you for continuing to be a person to look up to!
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Thanks Olivia! I appreciate the support!
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